Worth the Fight!


What does it really mean to love a person?  In our society the word “Love” is thrown around way too easily.  Let’s go to the Italian Restaraunt I LOVE it.  There is a line in a movie that really strikes the ball and it is this.  A young girl cries to her mother, “He said he loved me” to which her Mom says, “They all say that and then the cum”.  That is a very harsh generalization but unfortumately it is more often true than not.  I am a married man.  I was married for 32 years and my wife passed away.

I was married for 32 years and my wife was disabled for 18 of those years and at that time I felt like I was on a never ending merry-go-round.  Her illness was of a type we had to keep a very “controlled” environment for her.  We moved far from the city, I would drive an hour and a half to work then drive an hour and a half home.  It got to the point I would walk in from my work day strip naked take my clothes directly to the washing machine and use special soap that would not affect my wife.  We were eating foods that were bland and devoid of anytype chemicals,  which was also good for me.  She became very depressed and hostile because of her situation.  Her hostility and attempts to drive me away lead me to bad choices and we were in a bad situation.  With her illness usually the first thing that happened, regardless if it were a man or woman with the illness, they would lose their spouse because of the massive lifestyle change.  I was the son of a divorce and I had made the decision that no matter what I would not walk away.  I will say this my wife should have left me because of the bad choices I made.  After years of struggle the cost of her care necessitated me making more money and the only way I knew to do that was to take my I.T. skills on the road.

There is no way to sugarcoat this so I will just say it.  When I went on the road I got a break from the hostile environment we were living in.  As hard as the situation was for me though it was worse for my wife because she could NEVER get relief from it.  I was travelling all across the country to different hospitals and about a year and a half into this part of the journey I was in Hattiesburg Mississippi when I took a call from the hospital where my wife was and I was on the phone with them when she passed away with a massive heart attack.  After all the things we had been through, all the difficulty, all the good times and bad times that was an extremely hard day.

In less than 2 years I was remarried.  I am not a man that wants to live alone.  I am not a man that got married JUST to be married.  The physical, emotional, and spiritual connection was definitely there almost immediately.  When I was dating the lady that ultimately became my second wife she told me she loved me it was  a little while before I told her the same.  When she did I told her I that was something I didn’t say quickly.  The very first time I met her we had some fairly deep “relationship” conversations.  I am kind of a “cut to the chase” kind of person so during our conversations I told her before we pursued an intiment relationship three things had to happen.  One I had to be absolutely sure she was the one, second we would HAVE to go through Christian premarital counselling, and third we had to be married.  A few months after we started seeing each other I asked her what she thought about our first meeting and what I had said and she told me she thought I was lying.  She said she thought I would try to get her into bed as soon as possible.

Love isn’t just an emotional feeling along with arousal.  Love starts as a feeling, and attraction but ultimately love is a decision.  If someone you love isn’t worth waiting for you will not think they are worth fighting for when things get tough in your relationship.  God sanctioned the relationship and family before He sanctioned government.  The family is the building blocks of society.  Love God first, then love your spouse, forsaking all others.


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